200+ Names to Call Your Enemy

Let’s be real for a second—naming your enemy is a whole social art form in American culture. You’ve probably done it without even realizing: that one coworker who micro-manages your every move? “Clipboard Cathy.” The ex who keeps liking your Instagram stories but never texts back? “Ghost Malone.” See? It’s instinctive. In a world full of subtweets, side-eyes, and silent roasts, what you call your rival says a lot about your vibe.

Now, don’t get it twisted—I’m not out here promoting drama or bullying. (There’s enough of that online already, and frankly, it’s exhausting.) This is about playful sass, cultural commentary, and that deeply American tradition of roasting someone just enough to stay classy, but still let them know you’re not here for their nonsense.

Over the years, I’ve collected—and coined—more than my fair share of clever comebacks and spicy nicknames. (Some better than others… let’s just say “Karen from HR” wasn’t amused.)

So if you’re looking for funny enemy names, savage monikers, or just a way to shade your haters without breaking a sweat—keep reading.