200+ Funny Names for Knives

So, here’s the thing—naming a knife shouldn’t be funny. It’s a sharp object, potentially dangerous, sometimes expensive, and, you know, very stabby. But somehow… it is. Like, painfully funny. I once named my paring knife “Stabitha,” and now I can’t take it seriously when I’m chopping cilantro. (I’m telling you, the knife practically winks at me.)

You see, there’s this weird joy in giving your tools—especially ones as serious as blades—ridiculous, punny names. Maybe it’s a coping mechanism (because who doesn’t feel mildly homicidal after slicing onions for 20 minutes?). Or maybe it’s just our collective need for inside jokes with inanimate objects. Whatever the reason, humorous knife names have carved (pun 100% intended) a niche in kitchen culture, cosplay, gaming, and even garage workshops.

So if you’re here looking for joke knife nicknames, comedy blade names, or just need a laugh while renaming your butter knife “Sir Cuts-a-Lot”—you’re in the right place. We’re going full satire mode: puns, pop culture nods, maybe a little meme energy. It’s gonna be sharp.

Now, let’s get to the funny stuff—because every blade deserves a name with bite.

Names Cherry